If your marriage is coming to an end and divorce is imminent, it is important for you to learn to Let Go of Your Marriage. The spouse who initiates the divorce process has most likely already begun to let go and prepare to move on to a new phase in life. However, the spouse that is being left may need help with Grieving the Marriage, Accepting that its ending and Moving On to a life as a newly divorced, single person. Realize that it’s okay to Celebrate the Marriage rather than only focusing on the problems. Resources such as Divorce Education Classes from AMS Mediation can be very beneficial in dealing with emotional, legal and logistical aspects of divorce.
Grieving Your Marriage
Ending a marriage has been compared to surviving the death of a loved one. Divorce can impact just about every aspect of your life. Your family, finances, friends, career and most of all your children are all impacted by divorce. Just as people go through stages of grieving a death, spouses going through the divorce process need to Grieve the Marriage. Emotional stages of divorce can be very chaotic in nature. Understand that moving through emotions such as Shock, Denial, Anger and Acceptance can change day-to-day or moment-to-moment.
Accepting the Marriage is Ending and Moving On
Learning to Accept that the Marriage is Ending can be a very difficult first step. Acceptance is needed in order to move on as quickly and gracefully as possible. The following actions can help in the process of Accepting and Moving On with your life and dignity:
- Speak with friends and tell them that you are getting a divorce.
- Fight the urge to fight back and hurt your spouse.
- Don’t try to control or be responsible for the actions of your spouse.
- Don’t allow or expect your spouse to be responsible for what you need for support or property division after the divorce.
- Set short term, attainable goals for yourself such as reaching out to friends, taking care of yourself physically and financially.
- Ask yourself what kind of person you want to be in your new life and take advantage of the opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Celebrating Your Marriage
There is a reason that you originally chose to marry your spouse. It won’t work to completely ignore the things that attracted you to this person or what aspects of their personality that you admire. Take the time to Celebrate Your Marriage, reflect on what your spouse meant to you in the past and what you will miss the most when the marriage has ended.
Minnesota Divorce Mediator
AMS Mediation can provide you with beneficial resources to Move On to a successful life after divorce. As a skilled MN Divorce Mediator, we offer Divorce Education Classes, Parenting Services and Legal Process Options. Our services can help spouses to Grieve the Marriage, Accept the marriage is ending and be prepared to move on more quickly and gracefully.
Call AMS Mediation for Divorce Mediation Services at: (952) 252-1492.
