With so many negative examples of confrontation out there these days, it may be tempting to respond to your ex’s new spouse or significant other by treating it like a road-rage incident or an anonymous angry response on social media. But do not give in to that temptation. AMS Mediation knows that there are other, more effective and productive ways to respond to the interference of your ex-spouse’s new partner’s intrusions in the parenting of your children.
It is important to remember that even the best post-divorce relationships can have thorny issues pop up from time to time. Your former spouse’s new partner may well be acting with your children’s best interests in mind, but good intentions do not always translate and may instead trigger feelings of anger, annoyance, frustration and concern. Of course, if you have concerns of a more serious nature (for example, if your spouse’s new partner is endangering your children or is creating emergent situations), you should be contacting the authorities. But in the vast majority of situations, the new partner of your former spouse is likely to be violating something of a less formal and less emergent nature. Still, such circumstances need to be addressed.
Importance of Communication After Divorce
As it is true in most situations, good communication is important. Start by assessing the communication between you and your ex. If that person’s partner is getting in the way of good communication, restate with your former spouse the importance that communication about your kids should take place only between the two of you. This reestablishes the boundaries that a good mediator will help you set.
It is important for you to be clear about your expectations, especially if they concur with the divorce agreement you have created with your former spouse. The more clear-headed you can remain when communicating about this kind of issue, the more likely you are to achieve the result you’re looking for. And, once again, resist the temptation to rage at your former spouse’s new partner.
Post-Divorce Mediation
If approaching the situation in this manner does not solve the problem, consider contacting AMS Mediation for more specific and direct assistance. We will be happy to talk with you during a free consultation about approaches that are available to address your concerns. Mediation is an ideal tool to use for issues that come up after a divorce is final, so that you do not have to proceed through the court system to solve a problem. Our team has the expertise and experience to help you and your former spouse establish clearer expectations so that your parenting agreement can be honored without interference from the new person in your ex’s life.
Contact us at 952.252.1492 or email amber@amsmediationplus.com for more information about our post-divorce mediation services. We can help you find a way forward, so that you are comfortable with the interaction your ex’s new spouse is having with your children.
