There is no doubt that a divorce is enormously stressful on an entire family unit. The end of a marriage is a serious loss for everyone involved. One of the most important things to keep in mind during and after the transition is the significant impact on the children. Helping your children through this transition is a critical step in helping them cope with the loss of their sense of family. Here are some tips that divorcing parents can use to make this difficult time a little easier.
● Protect kids from too many details: The reasons why you and your soon to be ex-spouse have decided to divorce do not need to be discussed with the kids. They are simply too young to understand the details and it can cause the divorce to be even more painful.
● Keep negative comments to a minimum: It may seem obvious, but refrain from talking negatively about your ex-spouse. You will both continue to be the most important people in your kids’ life after the divorce and hearing negative comments about the other parent is extremely difficult for a child.
● Keep the kids’ schedule consistent: Try to keep your children’s schedule as consistent as possible during and after a divorce. In most cases, a child will split their time between two parents, so going back and forth is a big transition. Keep bedtime, wake up time and mealtimes the same if possible. If you can keep them in the same schools and doing the same activities, that can be helpful as well. Offering this kind of consistency will minimize the impact of some of the changes in their life and provide a sense of security.
● Encourage your children to spend time with your ex-spouse’s extended family. Divorce is full of loss. Children do best when they are loved by many and allowed to love.
● Consider alternatives to litigation: If possible, you should try not to rely on the court to make the big decisions about custody in your divorce. You and your ex-spouse know what is best for your kids. If you can focus on putting your kids first, you may be able to resolve the difficult issues in your divorce without going through the court.
Use Mediation to Resolve Issues in your Divorce
Divorce mediation is a highly effective tool for resolving difficult aspects of your divorce and laying a strong foundation for future co-parenting. AMS Mediation specializes in divorce and parenting mediation and partners with families to help move forward in a positive and healthy way. For more information or to schedule a free consultation, call us at 952.252.1492
