Sadly, divorce seems to be an inevitability in our world. The process of divorcing can cause distress and lifelong discomfort. But there is hope for finding a more functional response by all family members affected by divorce. AMS Mediation of Burnsville, Minnesota, is the kind of service that can help divorcing parents and their children respond in a healthier way during and after the divorce process.
There are some important steps to take in ensuring that children of divorced or divorcing parents are not negatively affected by their parents’ decision to divorce. It may also be beneficial for everyone involved to sign up for Divorce Education Classes and/or Parenting Education Classes, in addition to the suggestions below:
- Act like the grown-ups. Divorce can cause a major loss of perspective. Many parents succumb to that loss of perspective by putting more energy into hating their ex’s than loving their children.
- Do whatever possible to maintain stability in children’s lives. This can be done by not talking negatively about your ex in front of your children.
- Be solid and reliable for your kids. Stability in their lives, amid the instability that divorce represents, is crucial to their long-term well-being.
- Be honest with your children in a way that respects their ages and relative ability to understand the complexities of adult relationships.
- Love and support your children. The love you receive from them in response to what you give to them can also help you.
- Respect your ex and remember that your children are genetically 50% of them too.
- Consider finding a therapist for your children during the divorce process, not only after it.
- Use self-help books and other resources carefully. Think critically. And trust your knowledge of your children. Books and other resources can be helpful, but they are unlikely to be as insightful about your children as you will be.
- As long as both parents act in the interests of the children’s well-being and there are no concerns about the other parent’s ability to ensure health and safety, consider co-parenting options.
- Show compassion to your children as they experience grief in the aftermath of divorce. Divorce, of course, affects more than just the parents, and children are extremely sensitive to their parents’ relationships.
- Above all else, don’t use your children as manipulation tools against your ex. Doing so is evidence of placing your own shortsighted self-interest ahead of the long-term well-being of your children.
AMS Mediation can help you identify the most pressing issues coming out of your divorce and maintain the best interests of your children. Call our team at 952-252-1492 or email amber@amsmediationplus.com for more information or to schedule a free consultation.
